But I don’t want anyone else holding me or kissing me or telling me they love me. I just want you. With you, it was right. It was great and beautiful and it felt so right. No one will ever be able to wake up the things inside me that you awaken and no one will make me feel safe in their embrace and you are my safe haven but you are not here now and my heart breaks over and over again every second. Why did you leave me? You said you’d never let me go. But you left and now i have to cry myself to sleep every night and fake a smile to everyone, including you. I can’t believe you, out of all people, have drown me into this sadness and sometimes i just wish i would stop breathing because it hurts so much.
I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.
There’s a difference between a great love and the right love.
I wonder how many stranger’s stories we make it into? You know, maybe someone saw you in passing and told their friends about how pretty the girl in the lavender sweater was. Or maybe they overheard you say a joke and repeated it to their friend, confessing that they heard it from some guy at the store.
I think about this all the time